lets-smush: smokeandmirrorsandeverythingnice: ...

15th February 2012

Photo reblogged from BINDI FUCKIN IRWIN with 13,046 notes

lets-smush:

smokeandmirrorsandeverythingnice:

grey-eyedathena:

transstingray:

feministhistorian:

iheartslb:

feministhistorian:

[TW: child abuse and violence]
daskannnichtsein:

sourcedumal:

karnythia:

moniquill:

Unpopular opinion time:
No.
This is not ok.
If you have fucked up so badly at parenting that your kid is making posts like the above, property destruction and implied violence aren’t appropriate responses. This is not how functional adult people behave.
Hannah, in the video, doesn’t respect her father.
Given that her father invades her privacy, undermines her personal agency, and doesn’t have basic trust for her….I fully comprehend why she doesn’t. Respect is earned and taught. If Hannah posts giant, frustrated rants about her chore load, it probably implies that she doesn’t feel that her efforts are appreciated or that she’s an integral member of the family or household (alienation and over individuation is a huge problem for teens; it’s part of the formation of adult identity separate from parents and kind of a huge trap.
Teenagers are frustrated because their lives are absurd. They’re expected to have adult behavior with no adult agency. Maturity and decision making are learned skills. If parents don’t like the way their teens are behaving, they need to ask themselves where that behavior was learned. If she feels entitled, what have you been doing -her entire life- to communicate the real value of what she has and should be grateful for? If she refers to the woman who cleans for you as ‘the cleaning lady’ is that because she’s noted that you treat that woman that way? Asking for payment for work is not unreasonable; it’s an understanding of capitalism. A less asshat response than ‘are you out of your mind’ would be a basic rundown of the costs of the household in terms of food, heating, etc and what percentage of that Hannah should reasonably be responsible for. Given that she has no economic agency of her own, expressing to her that her chores are a means of repayment for that.
I grew up -poor- and my parents were still giving me an allowance by the time I was ten because that’s how you teach kids how to manage earned income. I received a dollar a week (upgraded to five dollars a week when I was 12) for completing a list of chores. If they weren’t done, I didn’t get paid. Just like you don’t get paid at a job if you don’t show up. My parents also stopped buying luxury items for me around that age and made me buy them myself with earned and saved income from my chores, babysitting, recycling cans, making crafts and selling them, whatever. My parents helped me find jobs and gave me suggestions about what I could so to earn money. If Hannah is fifteen, she cannot legally obtain most forms of employment; has she been educated as to what economic opportunities are available to her? Because as a parent EDUCATING HER IS, IN FACT, YOUR JOB. You got her an application and made her apply? Did you take her with you and teach her the process of how to obtain applications and where to look for places that are hiring? Did you make sure the place you got the application from accepts underage employees (most do not) or walk her through the application process in terms of how to make herself an attractive applicant?
‘When I was your age I’d moved out of the house, lived on my own, went to college while in highschool, worked two jobs, was a volunteer fireman’…. Uh….huh. And you didn’t manage to impart any of this work ethic on your children, apparently. Also: You grew up in a very different economy, as a man. I’m willing to bet you had parents or other helpful adults who made you aware of the opportunities available to you. You are judging your daughter for having a different outcome than you had, when she sure as shit didn’t have the same input.
Hannah is acting out in the most trivial of ways: Ranting and commiserating with friends. and even THAT outlet is being denied her. All the people above who liked and lauded this: Would you think it was awesome if Hanna was an adult woman who’d posted a frustrated rant about her significant other, and this was the significant other’s response? Or would you consider this to be emotional abuse and a redflag for accelerating relationship violence? Because that’s what this is: Emotional abuse. This is abusive parenting (looks like it’s in the wake of/a response to earlier emotionally negligent parenting, too).
If your kid is a spoiled brat? It is not the kid’s fault. Kids aren’t born spoiled brats. Parental behavior causes this. This man is reaping the seeds he has sewn, and because he’s unsatisfied with what his efforts have yielded, he’s responding with aggression and punishment and social humiliation.
That is -fucked up-. You are a -shitty parent-. You are not training your child to be a functional adult.If you child lacks life skills, if your child does not respect you, if your child cannot think critically or understand the value of money or comprehend the importance of maintaining a household THAT IS YOUR FUCKING FAULT. This kind of extreme behavior is SERIOUSLY too little too late, and an act of aggressive desperation because YOU FUCKED UP.
If I were advising Hannah in this situation? I’d be helping her figure out ways to get the fuck away from these people and hook her up with resources that would teach her actual life skills.
Worth noting? This dude is shooting in what is clearly a residential area. That is unsound (though not necessarily criminal in his locality) behavior. This is not something to be celebrated. Property destruction and implied violence are not things to be celebrated. Emotional abuse in response to shitty teen behavior that results from bad parenting in the first place is not something to be celebrated.
This whole fucking family needs to get to family counseling STAT.

I don’t believe shit this dude is saying for a host of reasons including the bullets he put in her computer. Applaud if you want to, but I bet a video camera focused on her day to day life would tell a very interesting (and fucked up) story about unrealistic expectations.

^^^ Agreed. Especially with what Monoquill is saying. Shooting at a laptop? Who is to say that he won’t go further and introduce violence against her???
Instead of fleshing out the real reasons why she is angry, you simply shoot her belongings? Really? Say goodbye to any sort of healthy communication whatsoever.

BLESS THIS ENTIRE POST.

I watched the video and was appalled by him and the comments on the video. He is clearly very abusive and overprotective. He has absolutely no respect for her daughter and in the video he even said she would probably never see it. He did this so he could publicly embarrass her in front of her friends. That is beyond fucked up, that is fucking abusive behavior. His daughter is going to need a lot of therapy in the future to correct the mess he made. If she speaks to him after she moves out, I will be shocked. He has no respect for her or her boundaries and wonders why she makes post ranting about him on facebook…

He’s her parent.
There’s no privacy when you’re living in your PARENTS’ house, using the internet THEY bought, the computer THEY bought.
Also- if she had it so rough, they wouldn’t be living in a nice house, with nice things.
I agree with the father, she’s completely disrespectful. I don’t agree with shooting the computer, but that’s just me. I’d be beyond pissed at my child if they wrote something like that about me after I bought them nice things/upgraded their computer, etc.
She sounds like a brat that deserves to be punished.

video being discussed.
Um, what? Teenagers don’t deserve privacy because they are living with their parents? Teenagers aren’t allowed to have boundaries, secrets, things they keep from their parents because they live with them? That is beyond fucked up. I don’t know about you, but I have had my parents snoop around my room and violate my privacy. When you set privacy settings on YOUR facebook and your dad snoops around them/hacks into it, that is violating his daughters privacy. I don’t care if she is living at home or is 40 years old, that is a violation of privacy.
“if she had it so rough, they wouldn’t be living in a nice house, with nice things.” is the biggest crock of shit I have ever heard. You don’t have to live in an run down house to have an abusive father. He could be a billionaire and still be abusive. He clearly solves his problems with violence and public humiliation. He did not try talking to his daughter and asking why she felt like that, he shot up her computer. God only knows how he treats her if he can do something like this. Sorry, he is violent and an abuser. Her step mother didn’t sound any better when she asked him to shot her computer for her. That girl is living in a fucked up environment, no wonder she is writing passive aggressive posts on facebook. Its the only outlet she has and he took that away from her.
Assuming she deserves to be punished for writing how she feels, he had no reason to shoot up her computer. He should have talked to her and asked her why she feels this way. He should try to have a relationship with her instead of grounding her for using facebook as an outlet to process her feelings. She clearly cannot talk to him because he will pull shit like this.

I don’t even know where to start with this.
He’s a shit dad; I agree with all of the commentary pointing out how fucked up this is.
The “she’s a brat,” “she deserves it,” “she’s disrespectful” stuff is bullshit. Like people have said, this was her only outlet and this ridiculous form of punishment is just… terrifying. I have to agree that this seems like a rather scary, abusive situation.

I tried to bring this up on my facebook account, and people still defended this dad. Said I had no leg to stand on when saying this man was abusive, or that Hanna didn’t do anything all that horrid.
This video made my physically ill. Guns, Public Humiliation, insulting your child, and destroying her things make you a shitty and abusive parent.
This post is comforting, at least some people out there know abuse when they see it.

Wooow. Just wow.
Maybe his daughter was being a bit rude. Maybe she was ungrateful. But he taught her that. Get a job, really? At 15, I was lucky to find a place that considered anyone at the age of 16, younger was almost non-existent, and they were never hiring[when they were, why would they choose the 15 year old with no experience over the 20+ year old with experience?].
Personally, if anyone ever pulled a gun on anything having to do with me, be it myself, a friend/child, or an inanimate object, I would call whatever type of protective services[be it CPS, some form of spousal abuse safety center, whatever] that would apply, and fucking leave. That is abuse, that is violence, that is uncalled for. I’d worry that the next thing he/she shot would be me.
TL;DR: You are a shite parent. You took what she had to get her emotions out and literally shot it. Give your daughter another outlet before she starts taking it out on others, or worse, herself.

what an asshole. if that was my father, i’d never speak to him again.

shooting the laptop - not cool
but that’s about all i can say without any context.

smokeandmirrorsandeverythingnice:

grey-eyedathena:

transstingray:

feministhistorian:

iheartslb:

feministhistorian:

[TW: child abuse and violence]

daskannnichtsein:

sourcedumal:

karnythia:

moniquill:

Unpopular opinion time:

No.

This is not ok.

If you have fucked up so badly at parenting that your kid is making posts like the above, property destruction and implied violence aren’t appropriate responses. This is not how functional adult people behave.

Hannah, in the video, doesn’t respect her father.

Given that her father invades her privacy, undermines her personal agency, and doesn’t have basic trust for her….I fully comprehend why she doesn’t. Respect is earned and taught. If Hannah posts giant, frustrated rants about her chore load, it probably implies that she doesn’t feel that her efforts are appreciated or that she’s an integral member of the family or household (alienation and over individuation is a huge problem for teens; it’s part of the formation of adult identity separate from parents and kind of a huge trap.

Teenagers are frustrated because their lives are absurd. They’re expected to have adult behavior with no adult agency. Maturity and decision making are learned skills. If parents don’t like the way their teens are behaving, they need to ask themselves where that behavior was learned. If she feels entitled, what have you been doing -her entire life- to communicate the real value of what she has and should be grateful for? If she refers to the woman who cleans for you as ‘the cleaning lady’ is that because she’s noted that you treat that woman that way? Asking for payment for work is not unreasonable; it’s an understanding of capitalism. A less asshat response than ‘are you out of your mind’ would be a basic rundown of the costs of the household in terms of food, heating, etc and what percentage of that Hannah should reasonably be responsible for. Given that she has no economic agency of her own, expressing to her that her chores are a means of repayment for that.

I grew up -poor- and my parents were still giving me an allowance by the time I was ten because that’s how you teach kids how to manage earned income. I received a dollar a week (upgraded to five dollars a week when I was 12) for completing a list of chores. If they weren’t done, I didn’t get paid. Just like you don’t get paid at a job if you don’t show up. My parents also stopped buying luxury items for me around that age and made me buy them myself with earned and saved income from my chores, babysitting, recycling cans, making crafts and selling them, whatever. My parents helped me find jobs and gave me suggestions about what I could so to earn money. If Hannah is fifteen, she cannot legally obtain most forms of employment; has she been educated as to what economic opportunities are available to her? Because as a parent EDUCATING HER IS, IN FACT, YOUR JOB. You got her an application and made her apply? Did you take her with you and teach her the process of how to obtain applications and where to look for places that are hiring? Did you make sure the place you got the application from accepts underage employees (most do not) or walk her through the application process in terms of how to make herself an attractive applicant?

‘When I was your age I’d moved out of the house, lived on my own, went to college while in highschool, worked two jobs, was a volunteer fireman’…. Uh….huh. And you didn’t manage to impart any of this work ethic on your children, apparently. Also: You grew up in a very different economy, as a man. I’m willing to bet you had parents or other helpful adults who made you aware of the opportunities available to you. You are judging your daughter for having a different outcome than you had, when she sure as shit didn’t have the same input.

Hannah is acting out in the most trivial of ways: Ranting and commiserating with friends. and even THAT outlet is being denied her. All the people above who liked and lauded this: Would you think it was awesome if Hanna was an adult woman who’d posted a frustrated rant about her significant other, and this was the significant other’s response? Or would you consider this to be emotional abuse and a redflag for accelerating relationship violence? Because that’s what this is: Emotional abuse. This is abusive parenting (looks like it’s in the wake of/a response to earlier emotionally negligent parenting, too).

If your kid is a spoiled brat? It is not the kid’s fault. Kids aren’t born spoiled brats. Parental behavior causes this. This man is reaping the seeds he has sewn, and because he’s unsatisfied with what his efforts have yielded, he’s responding with aggression and punishment and social humiliation.

That is -fucked up-. You are a -shitty parent-. You are not training your child to be a functional adult.If you child lacks life skills, if your child does not respect you, if your child cannot think critically or understand the value of money or comprehend the importance of maintaining a household THAT IS YOUR FUCKING FAULT. This kind of extreme behavior is SERIOUSLY too little too late, and an act of aggressive desperation because YOU FUCKED UP.

If I were advising Hannah in this situation? I’d be helping her figure out ways to get the fuck away from these people and hook her up with resources that would teach her actual life skills.

Worth noting? This dude is shooting in what is clearly a residential area. That is unsound (though not necessarily criminal in his locality) behavior. This is not something to be celebrated. Property destruction and implied violence are not things to be celebrated. Emotional abuse in response to shitty teen behavior that results from bad parenting in the first place is not something to be celebrated.

This whole fucking family needs to get to family counseling STAT.

I don’t believe shit this dude is saying for a host of reasons including the bullets he put in her computer. Applaud if you want to, but I bet a video camera focused on her day to day life would tell a very interesting (and fucked up) story about unrealistic expectations.

^^^ Agreed. Especially with what Monoquill is saying. Shooting at a laptop? Who is to say that he won’t go further and introduce violence against her???

Instead of fleshing out the real reasons why she is angry, you simply shoot her belongings? Really? Say goodbye to any sort of healthy communication whatsoever.

BLESS THIS ENTIRE POST.

I watched the video and was appalled by him and the comments on the video. He is clearly very abusive and overprotective. He has absolutely no respect for her daughter and in the video he even said she would probably never see it. He did this so he could publicly embarrass her in front of her friends. That is beyond fucked up, that is fucking abusive behavior. His daughter is going to need a lot of therapy in the future to correct the mess he made. If she speaks to him after she moves out, I will be shocked. He has no respect for her or her boundaries and wonders why she makes post ranting about him on facebook…

He’s her parent.

There’s no privacy when you’re living in your PARENTS’ house, using the internet THEY bought, the computer THEY bought.

Also- if she had it so rough, they wouldn’t be living in a nice house, with nice things.

I agree with the father, she’s completely disrespectful. I don’t agree with shooting the computer, but that’s just me. I’d be beyond pissed at my child if they wrote something like that about me after I bought them nice things/upgraded their computer, etc.

She sounds like a brat that deserves to be punished.

video being discussed.

Um, what? Teenagers don’t deserve privacy because they are living with their parents? Teenagers aren’t allowed to have boundaries, secrets, things they keep from their parents because they live with them? That is beyond fucked up. I don’t know about you, but I have had my parents snoop around my room and violate my privacy. When you set privacy settings on YOUR facebook and your dad snoops around them/hacks into it, that is violating his daughters privacy. I don’t care if she is living at home or is 40 years old, that is a violation of privacy.

“if she had it so rough, they wouldn’t be living in a nice house, with nice things.” is the biggest crock of shit I have ever heard. You don’t have to live in an run down house to have an abusive father. He could be a billionaire and still be abusive. He clearly solves his problems with violence and public humiliation. He did not try talking to his daughter and asking why she felt like that, he shot up her computer. God only knows how he treats her if he can do something like this. Sorry, he is violent and an abuser. Her step mother didn’t sound any better when she asked him to shot her computer for her. That girl is living in a fucked up environment, no wonder she is writing passive aggressive posts on facebook. Its the only outlet she has and he took that away from her.

Assuming she deserves to be punished for writing how she feels, he had no reason to shoot up her computer. He should have talked to her and asked her why she feels this way. He should try to have a relationship with her instead of grounding her for using facebook as an outlet to process her feelings. She clearly cannot talk to him because he will pull shit like this.

I don’t even know where to start with this.

He’s a shit dad; I agree with all of the commentary pointing out how fucked up this is.

The “she’s a brat,” “she deserves it,” “she’s disrespectful” stuff is bullshit. Like people have said, this was her only outlet and this ridiculous form of punishment is just… terrifying. I have to agree that this seems like a rather scary, abusive situation.

I tried to bring this up on my facebook account, and people still defended this dad. Said I had no leg to stand on when saying this man was abusive, or that Hanna didn’t do anything all that horrid.

This video made my physically ill. Guns, Public Humiliation, insulting your child, and destroying her things make you a shitty and abusive parent.

This post is comforting, at least some people out there know abuse when they see it.

Wooow. Just wow.

Maybe his daughter was being a bit rude. Maybe she was ungrateful. But he taught her that. Get a job, really? At 15, I was lucky to find a place that considered anyone at the age of 16, younger was almost non-existent, and they were never hiring[when they were, why would they choose the 15 year old with no experience over the 20+ year old with experience?].

Personally, if anyone ever pulled a gun on anything having to do with me, be it myself, a friend/child, or an inanimate object, I would call whatever type of protective services[be it CPS, some form of spousal abuse safety center, whatever] that would apply, and fucking leave. That is abuse, that is violence, that is uncalled for. I’d worry that the next thing he/she shot would be me.

TL;DR: You are a shite parent. You took what she had to get her emotions out and literally shot it. Give your daughter another outlet before she starts taking it out on others, or worse, herself.

what an asshole. if that was my father, i’d never speak to him again.

shooting the laptop - not cool

but that’s about all i can say without any context.

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